old words

for the past few years..
i've been chasing something that is not worth my teenage life..
and after last night...a friend of mine told me something that make me realize...
something that i used to hold on when i was a "text book" student back then...
and i hope...i can hold onto it again this time...
at least until i got a job...
and being able to support myself without depending on others anymore...

"alyaum aindi sodikotu hua alyaum wa ana mutazauwaj"

thanks to her again for make me remember those words...
funny...she told me that i'm the one who gave her those back in school...
and now she give it back to me...
ahah...

my man...(^_^)

have u ever been in a situation where u will smile alone thinking of someone in ur life?
of course u have right?
but who is that someone?
anybody can make u smile even u only think about he or she
and yes...it happened to me...
and yes...someone make me smile...

this is a story about the person who make me smiling alone...
hatta my rumet kate saye gile mnaip sorang sambil senyum..ppfftt...pedulik apenye pun kan...

On last thursday night...i was in examination hall...having statistic as my dinner...
and like all of u girls and boys...as usual...after test is the best time to enjoy right?dont tipu2 sini lah...
and that night...me myself and i have decided with my friends to watch movie at the nearest cinema..
i know that they dont have any idea what 21st of october means to me...but who cares?ahhahaah...

while enjoying my last moment of 20 years old by watching Hugh jackman controlling a robot..
on 11.50pm..my phone vibrate..the name appears is 'Ayah'...
i ignored it as the movie was getting more exciting.. I've planned to call him later after the movie...
5 minutes later...its vibrate again...and i felt something wrong...he usually doesnt call me this late...and i decided to pick it up...so i went to the bathroom...
but the call was ended...

i called him again...and he picked up...u know what he said to me?
   
       "sekarang pukol brape?"

and i said
      "ha?knape?"

again he asked
      "pukol brape skarang?tgk la jam...xkan xde kot..."

and i'm getting nervous...
      ''aaaa..12 malam..knape?'

and he replied with his selamber voice...
      "oh..xde ape...duet blanje sume cukop lagi?nak ape2 x?"

and i felt stange..
      "cukop..xde nk beli ape2 pon...bkn blanje byk mane pon..kenape?"

and he added more strange feelings to me
      "ok2..belajar elok2..cuti kang balik...assalamualaikum.."

and of course i answered
      "waalaikumsalam...aaa..ok.."

and i walked back inside to watch another robot fighting each other while in my head, i'm pushing all my brain cells to work harder to tell me what drama just happened on the phone just now..
usually...i'm the one who will call..not him..

and...and then...i realized...its already half past 12...and its my birthday...
the reason why i was at the cinema on that night...is to celebrate my own birthday...
and my father...who happen to be the first person to wish my birthday...
thats why he asked what time is it now...and  thats why he asked if i need anything...
arghh...it just me who stupid enough not to realize that early...

so i called him again after the movie ends...i thanked him for what he just did an hour ago...
and he said
 
       "ape die?mane ade buat pape pon...tanye biase2 je ah..."

hahahah...of course he denied it...thats what all father in the world will do...ahhahaahah...

he will not show u directly that they love us like the mother hugs...
he probably never said "i love u" to u like ur mother always did...
he sometimes can turn into a tiger to u compared to  ur mother who always being the angel...
he surely cant cook u the best meals like the chef of ur life,(ur mother) always did...

but what u dont know is...

he is the engineer who design and planning ur future life even before u were born...
he is the person who will always be on the top of ur "person willing to sacrifice to u"
when u were child...he is the person who sleep besides u when u're tought that some boogeyman is sleeping under ur bed...
when u trying to do ur homework...and u cant solve it...when u woke up...all of them were finished...and u thought that u solved them last night...the truth is...he was helping u..this one u may not realize...maybe happened to u once or twice during ur childhood...hahahah
maybe at some point or another...he would feel sad because we dont give him any news...but he will not show it to others...the thruth is...he'll think about u all the time..especially before he goes to sleep..maybe not as much as ur mother did...but still...he will...

the point here is...ur father love u as much as ur mother...so...if u call ur mother..try to talked to ur father too...he always wanted that...especially from his daughter who happened to be his little girl before...hahahaha...
and yeah...my father is my man...

gamba2 uncle gugle kasi

ARRRGGHHH!!!DAH MULE DAAAHH!!!!

x-em

-

nk exam an??
amek ah ni spatah 18 kate buat yg nk amek exam..


in the exam hall.....
look up for INSPIRATION....
look down for CONCENTRATION....

.........& if these don't work, then..............

look beside for INFORMATION....
look front for PRECAUTION


semoge bejaye anda semua..

STUdent + DYing = STUDY

inilah stdy week saye stakat ini

dan ye...saye amat risau...

betol2 risau...

ini x tipu punye...
haaaddooihh...

EXHAUSTED..

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?



Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?


Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?



Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding


No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like



Welcome to my life

-SIMPLE PLAN-

.........

 

i love pictures and images..don't blame me...

SMILE...( ^ . ^ )









Gamba: http://sayingimages.com

x brape nk center...

remember when i mention that sometimes pictures can tell u about something?...

this time...pictures can tell u about everything....

for those who have gone through a hard relationship...maybe this one suits u

 for me...number 10 is enough

if there's a problem that i have to face...

but...waking up is hard to do...and sleeping is impossible too...pfffttt..

what kind of life that  i've been through for the past few weeks??

so...a little advice for u

again...jangan tanye knape...
the less u know...the better...






gambar disedekahkan oleh 
http://sayingimages.com

Kapelians

Tetibe terase nk tunjuk bakat lak kat sini...bkn ape..saje je nk soh org menghargai bakat aku...muahahahahah..
ape??poyo??tu yg kuar kat otak korg skang??biar ah..apedehal...
poyo uh mcm bawang korg taw??kalo kite kupas elok2 kulit luar die...InsyaAllah dlm nye elok..(ayat dari cite papadom..ubah sket)..hah...

sini aku nk cite sket bagi korg2 yg kapel kat luar sane...n yg blom kapel n tecarik2 pasangan uh...bace gak ah..ape salah korg bace...da alang2 bukak blog nih...
aku nk cite dari pemerhatian retina blakang spek aku pasal jenis2 pasangan yg sesuai nk dibuat suami or isteri or soulmate or kapel to be...
untuk buat entry nih...aku kne pikir mcm org yg dah kapel...selami kehidupan org2 kapel...memahami gaye pemikiran kapelians...sbb ape??sbb aku bkn kapelians...muahahahaha...
bkn aku xde awek...aku xnak ade awek jek...(fuh ayat org x kapel..)..kah kah kah!!!

ok2...dah2...korg bace nih...ni dari ape yg aku observe dari client n org sekeliling aku...
xtau la kan kalo x kene ngan pemikiran korg...
pedulik ape aku...kalo x kene korg lak tulis sendiri ape korg rase..opppsss...
(garang bkn sifat sebenar saye)...
sesuai untuk sesape yg nk carik kapel to be or yg da ade kapel...bole nilai pasangan korg...
jenis2 pasangan yg bg aku sesuai n terbaik untuk semua org ;

 

1.x demand sgt

ciri2 pasangan jenis ni mungkin bole buat jd pasangan idop bg yg suda berkapel...
contohnye...kalo ajak kuar date uh..x kesah walopon blanje beger ramli jek buat dinner..
mkn same2 bawah pokok depan kedai uh...dilimpahi lampu2 neon warne warni...
kan romantik namenye...ye la...x sume org kerajaan sapot (opppss)...
kdg2 date mkn besar blanje...tp balik bilik kire brape megi tinggal...
konon bekorban..biar pasangan kenyang kite lapar xpe...PUII ah..
kalo jenis lu nye pasangan asik nk mknn bawah ekon jek..
nasihat gwa...bek kasi jek duet yg lu gne blanje die slalu uh kat gwa..
ade jugak la bole buat beli DSLR ke an...bepaedah sket...
sbb...blom tentu yg demand2 ni jd bini ko..
kalo jd btol...heheheeh...buat resume untuk anta kat ceti murah or ah long...oyeah!!

2.menolak kalo ajak kuar naek moto

yg ni bgs...terpuji...sopan...advance...
x selamat pki helmet jek..soulmate...nnt nmpk x snonoh...pikir panjang..
x sosial sgt..anti bonceng..x elok org len pndg kang..
demand...menyusahkan...byk cite...geli naek moto...x stended...low class...
gayat atas moto xnk ngaku...malu ngan membe2 yg nek kete...xde bumbung...x best...x romantik...
agak2...kalo korg tolak org ajak date nek moto la an...mane satu korg nye excuse??hehehe

Promote UTM jap...heeheheh

3.terime seadenye

hohohoh...sesape yg soulmate die ade yg ni...abang tabik kuat2 n laju2...xyah kapel da...g kawen tros...
jgn kasi lepas yg ni...heheheh...mesti bile kate "terime seadenye" ni...
sume nk igt pasal luaran la kan..heheheh..bkn dari situ jek...try tgk dari sudut len ..
mcm..ajak die date nek lori or van tgk..die nk x...x pon..tiap kali date...nek teksi...
jgn ajak nek moto...mane taw die ade ciri2 no 2 uh...lg bawak mkn kedai2 bese jek...
tp sminggu skali or sbulan skali...bawak la g tempat eksklusip sket nyah oii...
kalo da 2 taun kapel...2 taon gak mkn beger n sirap slalu...kdg2 jek mee goreng...
mak nyah pon mnyampah kalo dpt pasangan lampi cmnie...opppsss...

4.memahami

ini penting...kalo xde yg ni..pikir 14 kali ah...org jenis mcm ni mmg tbaek la kan...
sume nk yg mcm ni la kan..sume nk yg taw jage perasaan kite...paham kite cmne..
xde nk msg2 kite kol 2 3 pagi sbb nk kate ayat2 romantis yg aku xtaw nk kasi contoh cmne...
x slalu buat kite mrh2..sume yg die buat bole kasi kite rase tenang..x kentut dpn kite..
try to say NO in more suitable sentences just don't want us to be upset..
fuhhh..untung laa sape dpt...
tp kalo die taw jage perasaan kite jek tp x taw jage prasaan org len??cmne la tu kan...
nk trime ke xnak??nk wat kapel ke xnak??
hohohooh...seronok maen kuiz2 nih...

5.prihatin

kalo ade yg ni...cukup lah alasan bole buat nk kawen...sbb ape??
bile org uh prihatin ngan kite...tu mksdnye die care kat kite..(ye la kot)..
tau bile time kite buat esemen ke kerje ke..tau bile time kite tido supaye sms or kol die x ganggu kite...
tau kite demam walaupon kite x bg tau...paham bile kite bad mood cmne...appy cmne...hah...
mcm2 la...ssh la nk pikir mcm org yg dh kapel nih...kelaut jd hah...
tp nk tau die uh prihatin ke x..tgu ah time besdey korg..kalo die lupe ah an..
haddoih..cm biase...pikir 14 kali...
bcoz..
It takes a special kind of stupid to forget ur special one's birthday..
muahahahahahah...
tp apedehal...skang ni ade FB sume bagai..tgu je laa...kang ade yg wish...hahahahaha...

6.ade agame

ade agame maksud aku kat sini bkn la korg kalo jumpe org ateis korg lari...xnak kenal...bkn...
mksd sini..mcm pasangan korg ni paham tuntutan agame...haaa...smayang..tutup aurat...
kalo date uh xde nk geli2...xde nk ringan2..tiap kali date...jumpe masjid singgah...
xde nk smayang kat shoping mall je slalu..tp kalo da tepakse ape nk buat an??kne gak ah...heheheh...
kalo ade pasangan mcm ni xyah risau ah...die tau batas2...die paham haram halal n dose pahale...
sng abang nk ckp...kawen je teros...muahahahahah...

7.berani

berani ngaku salah...brani kate x suke tu...x suke ni...brani terus terang about sumtink...
brani tempuh cabaran dlm perkapelan (cewah)...
n brani apape lg ah...letih ah nk ckp sume kbranian kat sini...hahahahah...
pasangan yg ade ciri2 ni aku respek!!!ni bagus!!10 bintang!!..
mmg bertuah laa sape dpt pasangan yg brani...untung idop...xyah nk takot2...
tp brani byk mksd...
jgn kalo tgk pasangan korg uh dok besila tgh2 highway jalan duta pagi2..
or pegi pukol babi hutan ataupun seladang one by one tanpe bekap..
xpon g sound Pak Selamat UTM pasal misai die lentik sgt korg kate die berani...
tu keje gile namenye...bkn berani...
gune sel2 otak korg yg berhubung antare satu same laen uh pasal definisi berani kat sini...
kalo x bole g minum Ducth Lady 123...

8.tegas

okeh...ni da mcm nk mrepek dah...kalo ade pasangan tegas ni...beruntung laaa...
bkn sume org tegas mase tgh dlm dunia "keawangan" ni an...haddoih...
jarang aku dgr ade lelaki yg awek die tegas n slalu aku dgr pompuan yg pakwe die tegas...heheheh..
bgs org tegas ni...ade pendirian...n selalunye...pasangan tegas2 ni xde la garang...
cume sense of romantik die uh tersorok..bgs ade pasangan tegas ni..
kang mase korg nk sopink ngan die ade kne marah nk beli kasut baru walopon kasut yg korg pki uh x calar ag puuunn...hahahaa...
kan da terjimat kat situ...duet x jd sopink uh bole wat tgk wayang...hohoohoho...
aku da mule menyelami pemikiran org kapel2...dem



8 je la...cukup la lapan...x mampu nk pikir mcm org kapel2 nih...
tp elok lg la kalo kapel x lame..kapel uh just mcm nk kenal ati budi masing2 sblom btunang n kawen...
(asik pasal kawen jek dari td ni...aish)...

x bagos sbenanye kapel ni...buat mcm2 terbuang jek...(ayat org xde awek)...hahahah...
tp nk kapel pon xde hal...pedulik ape...korg nye idop...hahahaha..
nasihat aku...kalo da "in a relationship" kat fb uh..or kat mane2 la..beringat la sket ea...
bkn ape..aku penah bace ayat best...ayat uh mcm nih

"Not all relationships are meant to last forever,
even when you're in love. 

Because, some love stories are short stories."

kan?kan??heheheh..

gamba tajaan Google..

we r prisoners..

Yeppp...Prison Break...ye..sebuah Tv Show...sbenanye x minat nk tgk series2 nih..tp ntah ah...tgk tajok mcm best jek..actually...sedot Tv Show ni pon sbenanye nk wat bekalan time cuti sem ari uh..igt nk tgk saje2...skali tesangkot..

Series ni stat dgn watak yg dibawe oleh Dominic Purcell ; Lincoln Burrows..

Lincoln telah di “set up” dan dikenekan hukuman mati atas sebab yg die x buat..watak ni terlibat dgn satu konspirasi yg digelar THE Company..Lincoln ni dijadualkan akan GOAL kat satu penitentiary yg digelar Fox River..

pastu dtg la adek die..Micheal Scofield (Wentworth Miller)..dgn sengaje g carik pasal rompak bank smate2 nk masok penjare same ngan abang die...

bkn nk manje2 sblm abg die mati...nk tolong angkut kluar abg die dari penjare uh...

Stat dari 2 watak ni...mai pulak mcm2 karekter ntah ape prangai punye style..

tp ade sorg yg mnarik minat aku..T-bag...die ni kne penjare sebab cabul2 org n buat bende yg seumpame dgnnye...aku xnak mention kat sini...aku budak baek...(aku x minat die atas sebab die masok penjare uh..aku mention skali ag...aku baek)

die ni laen sket...watak die dibuat mcm seorg yg kejam,keji,najis,dan mcm2 ag...

tp die ade satu x factor yg buat die survive sampai hbs...die ni cepat pikap n pandai carik jalan kluar...

ntah knape aku ske kagum ngan org2 jahat walopon aku seorang yg terbukti kebaikannye...

                “we are captives of our own identities...living in prisons of our own creation”

Ni salah satu ayat yg dtg dari T-bag uh...dari ayat ni aku stat pikir...btol gak ape yg disebot oleh pnyangak nih..mcm buat aku tepikir jap...kite mmg ade satu je nyawe...skali je nk idop...tp bende yg kite wat tiap2 ari same jek... we do the same things again and again..kite slalu buat satu bende beterusan...bekali2..

mmg ah kdg2 brubah...tp bile da brubah pon....basicly kite wat gak bende same uh walopon dlm condition yg laen..We are prisoners of our own characters...lebih krg mcm 2 la...

Sbenanye...idop seharian kite pon mcm dlm penjare gak..
bgn...makan...kerje/kuliah...mandi...maen..x  berubah mane pon...cume kite ade kbebasan je ah...

kite pon wat salah gak...tp diorg kat penjare uh wat salah tahap laen punye dari kite..tinggi punye level...hahahah...

suffering in our own prison..

Sbenanye...bole ke kite wat mcm lari dari kebiasaan yg kite slalu buat??

breaking out of our own prison??running out of our own personality??break every single of our own rules??hilangkan sume jejak2 kite (sjarah lampau) untok slamatkan diri n all person that we ever love??

mungkin boleh kalau kite sendiri paham ngan penjare yg  each n everyone of us created...setiap sudut,blok,kawasan, n sume ah...letih la nk ckp ape ade dlm sume penjare...choiii...

kalo kite paham sume uh...x impossible “prison break” bole blaku...cewah..  

be one of the "freeman"

sem baru dah stat..malas tetap ade...ahah...kne buat prison break nih