farewell

pernah korang terpikir x?ape yg korang minat slame ni satu ari nnt akan ilang gak?means feeling minat uh...lets say korang minat dgr lagu..korean song for example...pnah tepikir?one day...korang akan tetibe nk stop dgr dat lagu yg aku bet korang xkan paham kalo xde subs..or drama2 korea?or minat plakon2 diorg?..same ade tepakse or mmg rase nk stop...nk stop suke2?itu bullshit...dusta tipu...mane ade org seronok2 nk benti buat bende die minat...kalau jumpe sape buat mcm tu...mohon bunuh die...itu manusia yg bg aku x relevan bg die oksigen..elok kalau dipancung..lagi sweet rasenye diperlakukan mcm tu ntok diorg..

aku nk ckp pasal ni sbb...satu ari uh..mase aku kat umah..aku tolong mak aku kemas2 stor...anak yg baik akan tolong mak die yg comel...then tetibe aku nampak satu briefcase...kecik je...berhabuk+berdebu+bersawang+ber apape lg ah yg boleh describe briefcase uh mmg da sgt usang..kompom2 la aku nk tye mak aku ape bende ni?ade brg mistik ke ape nk sorok2...tp aku hold...japg die da masok nk gadoh ngan kuali n sudip...aku akn amek...biar explore sendiri..muaahahaahah

as planned...aku amek bende uh...bawak masok bilik..then aku bukak ah..mmg old skul nye briefcase...aku bukak..n isi dlm uh agak wat aku kagum...kaset alleycat..banyak...nk 40 lebih maybe x silap...kaset amy search...ramli sarip...sume kaset artis2 lame ah...aku bet..ni bapak aku nye..xkan mak aku layan rock klasik kot..hindustan ye ah...aku g kat mak aku tye sambil tunjuk brg2 klasik uh...mak aku tekejut...die soh adek aku sambung masak gulai uh..n mlm uh aku mkn sket je sbb adek aku masak mmg x sedap..urgh,,ok2..balik td,mak aku tesengih tgk..die kate ni collection bapak aku mase kat USM dulu..lepas aku lahir..die simpan sume nih..sayang nk buang katenye...tu ade dlm store tu...kire ni legasi muda2 bapak aku ah...klasik jugak org tua aku..

sambil kaset lagu alleycat maen kat radio..aku temenung...feel laen ngan dgr mp3...hahhaha...klasik an...aku tgk bilik aku..penuh komik kat rak uh...bende2 aku minat...aku kumpol..aku jage siap..nak2 komik Dragon ball..rak atas skali aku letak..tu paling legend..sambil2 uh..bemain2 kat otak aku..bapak aku kompom hardcore nye minat lagu2 nih dulu..sampai gamba lame die kat umah  arwah nenek aku mcm David Arumugam da...kembang...sluar bawah lebar...jaket putih..spec bulat...ade skali lagu alleycat maen kat radio dlm kete...tetibe die kuatkan..tu mmg bukti yg aku kumpol dlm 10 minit atas lantai bilik nk buktikan die hardcore fan nye..hahaha..but at the end..die seal minat2 die dlm satu briefcase kecik..n letak dlm store..aku x tahu die tanam dalam2 minat die supaye x timbul balik..or die just ilang prasaan nk layan da sbb environment condition..da ber family...

kadang aku tgk mak aku nyanyi2 sket bile tgk bintang rtm or rancangan2 lagu2..nak2 ade skali die nyanyi pelan2 lagu cite indon uh...ape kename..acha septriasa kot...aku dok blakang tangge dgr..nk gelak kang mau x mkn aku mlm nnt..so aku diamkan..n time tu jugak..aku pcaye mak aku penah nyanyi2 gak time zaman umur die mcm kite nih...yg laen nye..maybe zaman die ngan rafeah buang or p ramlee n saloma nye lagu..mane aku nk tahu..n kite nye zaman..malas nk list...korang lagi bagus dlm bab ni..

n skang sindrome uh da jadi kat aku...aku mcm da x minat nk bace komik..da nak 2 bulan aku x beli apape komik...aku ingat ag pes komik yg aku bace..ustaz aku jual..Ana Muslim..kalau korg xtaw...dlm uh ade komik satria bulan bintang..yg bile die nk transform jadi superhero..die bace Bismillah..aha?tekejut?no wonder...hahahah..then aku move ke komik Kawan..yg mane cite best die...Rajawali...yg buat aku minat bola sampai skang...hahahahaha

masok remaje..mksd aku form 1..aku tetibe rase x relevan da aku bace Kawan..aku mule carik yg baru...then asrama kenalkan aku dgn Gempak,Utopia, Starz..3 ni mmg top mase skola dulu..oh oh..not forget to mention...Ujang,Apo,Gila-Gila..mmg aku akan bace sbb bapak aku beli...hahahahaha..dari gempak la aku suke aksi2 yg dilukiskan dlm uh...watak2 dlm komik mmg byk influence aku...then aku blaja melukis...aku xde bakat nk lukis lawa2...siket2 mampu lah..tp da xde bakat an...lukis tong sampah pon senget2...mak bapak aku da prasan da ngan minat mendalam aku kat komik...sb aku save duet..beli dragon ball..n ntah pape ag komik..ko ckp je..doremon?shinchan?usop sontorian?anak2 sidek?kemon...aku penah curik 2 or 3 naskhah anak2 sidek dulu..moge2 pak cik uh halalkan..aku da byr kot bile aku da besar nih..aku selitkan duet uh kat sokkabar2 yg die jual..ahah

stat form 3 aku bace kreko...komik2 jepon untok korang2 yg x tahu..mmg superb...situlah aku kenal naruto,bleach,death note,toriko,care samurai nk gune pedang...care nk maen basketball,american football,baseball,..even care nk masak or buat roti pelik2  pon ade...tahukah korang?kite bole buat roti gandum berperisa gune rice cooker?n yeah..ade org try buat based on dat komik...jadi kot..ahah..mcm2 ah...sampai la masok utm nih..aku still beli...penah mak aku bakar kreko aku time aku xde...aku tahu die bakar...x pon die jual kot..sbb bile aku nk bace balik..banyak yg ilang...naseb bek mak aku comel..haih...tapi tu pakai duet die gak..kalo die jual..dapat la sket..bole la wat beli bawang n kang kung...
wakakakakaka

n skang...die xyah risau da...aku da mmg xde nafsu da nk beli..kalau dulu...tiap minggu aku teruje tunggu,,pegi kedai scan laju2 name kreko,gempak,ujang,apo..tgk duet...beli yg best je..skang..lalu depan kedai..tgk...aku boleh beli..tapi rase teruje uh da xde..dat feeling ko nk sangat beli da ilang...walopn rase nk taw ape jadi kat episod2 dlm uh...aku tetap x eager nk beli...da mati da rase tu...nk sedih?ke nk suke?...aku pon x taw mane patot aku rase...
wakakakakakaka...

n siap last aku balik umah..mak aku bakar kreko aku senyap2..takot aku tbangun pagi2..die xtaw anak die yg baik ni mmg bgn pagi nye walopon tido pagi gak...hahahaha..tgh syok2 mak aku baling2 selai2 komik aku..aku dok sbelah die..bawak sebelen ag naskhah..die pon heran tgk aku..da gile agaknye anak aku ni..x marah ke..maybe itu yg die pikir bile aku join skali bakar sume majalah2 yg aku save...ape yg tinggal...hanye komik RM4.50..Dragon Ball n Doremon, Detective Conan n laen2...itulah aku nye collection...itulah legasi remaje aku...itulah yg aku akan simpan dlm beg atau kotak2 keras..n sorok dalam store..bende2 yg aku sayang dulu akan berabuk n bersawang dlm store gelap..bende yg x mustahil anak2 aku akan jumpe...bile diorg tlg nenek diorg kemas2 store nnt mase depan...hahahahahaahahha..care yg same aku jumpe collection bapak aku...care tu jugak diorg akan jumpe aku nye..biar diorg tahu sendiri ape yg bapak diorg minat...wakakakakakaka...kalau diorg gelak..siap.ah...

da point is...aku da mule ilang keinginan terhadap bende yg aku minat dulu..anime pon aku tgk kadang2 je...citer2 power rangers uh..aku save je dlm hd..x penah bukak da pon sejak di donlod...satu2 nye yg still aku bole tahan ialah...music2 yg aku minat dari skola rendah..x berubah...still aku dgr The Cranberries, Blue, Westlife, apape ag ah...even Micheal Jackson pon aku dgr ag..pasal music skang byk yg shit bg aku...hahahahahhahaha

maybe its dah time aku move ke next stage of life da kot...nk hbs degree da an..so... x pelik ah kalau point aku nk ke alam baru  uh stat skang...seseorang penah ckp kat aku... aku quote sebijik2..

                         "tp siyesly..ko kene ilangkan unrealisticness dlm  idop ko gak pan" ...

n aku rase...its time aku ikot ckp die...kan?

so...farewell all of u..perhaps one day we'll meet again..n hopefully dat old feelings can come back..

thanks for giving me an awesome childhood...

7 wonders of feelings

1)menangis

2)sedih

3)marah

4)gelak/gembira

5)menyampah

6)terharu

7)ntah

dalam byk2 feelings..aku berani bet...7 ni la yg paling byk dialami oleh manusia umur2 mcm aku ni..

kadang2 kita akan rase yg no 4..ade time2 kite akan trase yg no 2...then it will lead to no 1 sometimes..

no 6 dan no 2 boleh jadi akan dtg dlm mase yg same...bile dapat hadiah...2 feelings ni akan dtg serentak..x pecaye??tunggu hari korang grad nnt..xpon time besdey korang...bilemane mak or family bagi korang sometink yg buat korang gugur jantung sgt2...x same tahu dgn rase korang dpt hadiah dari kawan2 compare ngan adiah dari mak..

no 4 dan no 1 mostly akan disatukan bila kita bersama teman2 yg x kesah kita ni sape..nak2 lagi kalau duduk ngan puaka2 punya pesonaliti...aku ade ramai yg bersifat puaka..hah..tipu kalau korang xde..admit lah...yg puaka2 ni la yg buat korang hepi bile korang rase nk masok dark side when sumtink shit bloody hell happen to ur life...aku ckp sbb aku da rase..n diorg salah satu faktor yg buat aku bnapas elok2 balik..satu ari nnt aku akan kate kat diorg..

         "korang mmg shit..najis..menyusahkan..puaka pontianak...golongan2 yg menghabiskan oksigen korang2 ni la...idup segan mati x mahu...sebab tu la aku nk kate thanks jadi kawan aku.."

tapi aku takot  diorg dapat feeling no 6 then follow ngan no5 tambah ngan no 3..pastu tetibe aku kene pukol...mmg tu akan blaku...cume aku akan btol2 rase yang takot n seram sejuk kalau diorg tetibe dapat yg no 1..earrgghhh 

yg tengah becinte or dah kawen...sume nombo kat atas uh diorg akan rase...aku teke je...aku x penah kawen lagi...ape lg bekapel2 nih..so aku men agak je diorg2 uh rase sume feelings...makin byk drama n episod...makin byk feelings..so probability 7 yang kat atas uh ade tmasok gak an?logik an?x paham?pergi meninggal lah...ohoh..korang tetibe rase yg no 3 skang ni?pedulik ape aku prasaan korang..

tapi admit lah..dalam 7 yg aku list...sume org akan rase yg no 7 paling byk skali diorg pnah feel...ntah ni mcm...dont give a fuck...or..not a single fuck was given to bla bla bla...kdg2 membe dok sedap citer2..kite pon wat feeling no 7 ni...patah hati membe uh kite x tahu pon..hahahahahaah..pedulik ape...byk lagi aku kene pikir...hah..tu la yg korang dok buat...bkn korang je...sume org...perdana menteri..ketua kampung...representative kelas...bos syarikat..auntie cleaner..brader lori sampah...mak cik kantin..sume ah..kompom2 pnah buat feeling no 7 ni..kalau x pernah...itu bkn manusia...itu lembu...oh kasar?ok..aku tukar...itu bkn manusia...itu kambing...ok?

x kesah la ape korang nk rase..bkn masalah aku...mmg org kate aku baik...mak aku pon kate aku baik..siap kate aku kacak lagi...tapi baik mane pon manusia uh..kompom2 ade side yg kite x pernah tahu ape die pernah buat...maybe aku penah bunuh org or langgar lari kucing kat jalan?korang ape tahu..

tapi aku tertanye gak...kalau aku mati kejap2 lagi an..esok ke...x pon mgu depan ke...ntah2 bulan depan or tahun2 kehadapan...im wondering...ape yg org akan rase bilemane diorg dapat tahu aku dah mati...family aku dah tentu2 no 1 n 2...sbb aku syg diorg n diorg sayang aku...itu aku pasti tahu...org2 laen??mcm mane aku nk tahu korang2 ni akan ade no 1 n no 2 uh??mcm mane aku nk tahu korang2 yg baik sejak lahir ni x buat feelings no 4 or no 5 kalau tahu aku da mati kang??

maybe yg x suke aku akan buat feeling no4...

maybe yg aku berhutang or yg aku pernah offended n diorg x balas ag akan buat no 3..

maybe yg rase aku annoying sbb aku baik sgt mase aku idop akan rase no 5..

sape yg bile aku mati terase no 6 uh...yg tu aku mintak korang bunuh die pulak...tu golongan manusia x normal maybe..aku belum pernah org terharu sbb dgr org len mati...

yang rase no 2 n buat no 1 bile dgr aku da mati uh...aku nk ckp awal2...tenkiu n seinfinity kesyukuran...

semoga korang yg ade rase uh akan disayangi lebih ramai manusia2 yg baik2 even korang tahap pontianak skalipon...amin..

kalau korang nk buat no 4 uh bile dgr aku mati kang..xpe..aku x kesah..as long as bile korang balik bilik nnt...korang rase no 2..then tjadi no 1 kat korang...ahahahahah...aku taw korang pemalu...segan nk nanges depan manusia...tapi slalu mnanges kat sejadah an?aku tahu...x payah mentions pon aku paham..ehe..tapi kalau korang buat no 4 uh sbb mmg nk buat...aku harap bas kilang langgar korang lepas da habis gelak sbb dgr aku mati...ahahhahahha...n aku pulak yg rase kelakar...wakakakakakakak

tapi ape2 pon..tolong la jgn korang ade or dapat feeling no 7 uh kalau dgr aku akan dikebumikan nnt...tu yg paling aku takot skali...sbb ape?sbb feelings no 1 sampai no 6 uh...kalau korang ade rase bile sumtink jadi kat aku...maknenye korang ade siket risau or amik berat pasal life aku..

n maybe korang ade rase sayang sket kat aku even besat taik kuman pon..but still rase tu ade..so aku besyukur sgt...tapi kalau korang x kesah aku idop ke x..dats means korng x anggap aku ni manusia...so aku sedih sgt...plis la jgn ade rase no 7 uh bile aku mati nnt ea..kang aku blanje cendol...wakakakakakakka

so aku nk tanye jujur ni...agak2 kejap lagi aku mati..korang dpt msg or kol or ace kat fb pasal event nk kebumikan aku...ape first reaction korang2 ni ea?mane satu antare 7 kat atas uh?aku xmo expect pae feelings korang..tp aku beharap yg no 1 n 2 dari korang...ahah...

thanks..(^______^)

things i do

in normal condition...
game2 mcm ni la slalu maen...

futsal

n kadang2 kalau rajin...
maen yg ni

football

badminton

ping pong

but last week...

someone step on my tangan...

n he's wearing 11 stat but bola...

demmm...

so jadi bengkak n 2 jari xley bengkok...

which means badminton n ping pong out mgu ni...aih....

futsal n bola xley jd keeper sgt...aihh....

mcm ni la bende yg cium tgn nih...haih

n last sabtu...

tetibe dpt back pain...

doktor kate soh stop maen seminggu or 2 minggu..

die kate badan telebey stress..

slalu sgt maen...x benti...

n i just like...

dafuq??then wat shud i do??

maen pes??...shait...

fifa??..peh lisss..

xkan dok lepak balkoni je tgk org maen...

hah...

its like dat feeling when u want to berak...

n somebody said..

all jamban are not available for dis moment...

tapi pedulik ape..

x maen kang sendiri jadi x betol..

dok diam2...

haih...

xley2...bahaye...

ahahahahahhaahahahahah

old words

for the past few years..
i've been chasing something that is not worth my teenage life..
and after last night...a friend of mine told me something that make me realize...
something that i used to hold on when i was a "text book" student back then...
and i hope...i can hold onto it again this time...
at least until i got a job...
and being able to support myself without depending on others anymore...

"alyaum aindi sodikotu hua alyaum wa ana mutazauwaj"

thanks to her again for make me remember those words...
funny...she told me that i'm the one who gave her those back in school...
and now she give it back to me...
ahah...

my man...(^_^)

have u ever been in a situation where u will smile alone thinking of someone in ur life?
of course u have right?
but who is that someone?
anybody can make u smile even u only think about he or she
and yes...it happened to me...
and yes...someone make me smile...

this is a story about the person who make me smiling alone...
hatta my rumet kate saye gile mnaip sorang sambil senyum..ppfftt...pedulik apenye pun kan...

On last thursday night...i was in examination hall...having statistic as my dinner...
and like all of u girls and boys...as usual...after test is the best time to enjoy right?dont tipu2 sini lah...
and that night...me myself and i have decided with my friends to watch movie at the nearest cinema..
i know that they dont have any idea what 21st of october means to me...but who cares?ahhahaah...

while enjoying my last moment of 20 years old by watching Hugh jackman controlling a robot..
on 11.50pm..my phone vibrate..the name appears is 'Ayah'...
i ignored it as the movie was getting more exciting.. I've planned to call him later after the movie...
5 minutes later...its vibrate again...and i felt something wrong...he usually doesnt call me this late...and i decided to pick it up...so i went to the bathroom...
but the call was ended...

i called him again...and he picked up...u know what he said to me?
   
       "sekarang pukol brape?"

and i said
      "ha?knape?"

again he asked
      "pukol brape skarang?tgk la jam...xkan xde kot..."

and i'm getting nervous...
      ''aaaa..12 malam..knape?'

and he replied with his selamber voice...
      "oh..xde ape...duet blanje sume cukop lagi?nak ape2 x?"

and i felt stange..
      "cukop..xde nk beli ape2 pon...bkn blanje byk mane pon..kenape?"

and he added more strange feelings to me
      "ok2..belajar elok2..cuti kang balik...assalamualaikum.."

and of course i answered
      "waalaikumsalam...aaa..ok.."

and i walked back inside to watch another robot fighting each other while in my head, i'm pushing all my brain cells to work harder to tell me what drama just happened on the phone just now..
usually...i'm the one who will call..not him..

and...and then...i realized...its already half past 12...and its my birthday...
the reason why i was at the cinema on that night...is to celebrate my own birthday...
and my father...who happen to be the first person to wish my birthday...
thats why he asked what time is it now...and  thats why he asked if i need anything...
arghh...it just me who stupid enough not to realize that early...

so i called him again after the movie ends...i thanked him for what he just did an hour ago...
and he said
 
       "ape die?mane ade buat pape pon...tanye biase2 je ah..."

hahahah...of course he denied it...thats what all father in the world will do...ahhahaahah...

he will not show u directly that they love us like the mother hugs...
he probably never said "i love u" to u like ur mother always did...
he sometimes can turn into a tiger to u compared to  ur mother who always being the angel...
he surely cant cook u the best meals like the chef of ur life,(ur mother) always did...

but what u dont know is...

he is the engineer who design and planning ur future life even before u were born...
he is the person who will always be on the top of ur "person willing to sacrifice to u"
when u were child...he is the person who sleep besides u when u're tought that some boogeyman is sleeping under ur bed...
when u trying to do ur homework...and u cant solve it...when u woke up...all of them were finished...and u thought that u solved them last night...the truth is...he was helping u..this one u may not realize...maybe happened to u once or twice during ur childhood...hahahah
maybe at some point or another...he would feel sad because we dont give him any news...but he will not show it to others...the thruth is...he'll think about u all the time..especially before he goes to sleep..maybe not as much as ur mother did...but still...he will...

the point here is...ur father love u as much as ur mother...so...if u call ur mother..try to talked to ur father too...he always wanted that...especially from his daughter who happened to be his little girl before...hahahaha...
and yeah...my father is my man...

gamba2 uncle gugle kasi

x-em

-

nk exam an??
amek ah ni spatah 18 kate buat yg nk amek exam..


in the exam hall.....
look up for INSPIRATION....
look down for CONCENTRATION....

.........& if these don't work, then..............

look beside for INFORMATION....
look front for PRECAUTION


semoge bejaye anda semua..

EXHAUSTED..

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?



Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?


Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?



Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding


No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like



Welcome to my life

-SIMPLE PLAN-

.........

 

i love pictures and images..don't blame me...

SMILE...( ^ . ^ )









Gamba: http://sayingimages.com

x brape nk center...

remember when i mention that sometimes pictures can tell u about something?...

this time...pictures can tell u about everything....

for those who have gone through a hard relationship...maybe this one suits u

 for me...number 10 is enough

if there's a problem that i have to face...

but...waking up is hard to do...and sleeping is impossible too...pfffttt..

what kind of life that  i've been through for the past few weeks??

so...a little advice for u

again...jangan tanye knape...
the less u know...the better...






gambar disedekahkan oleh 
http://sayingimages.com